Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Approach/Avoidance Racing Syndrome

 "This looks like a safe camping spot", he said, dropping his pack and crushing a wolf.

From the book, "Bored of The Rings"

Originally written spring of 2017...

Training. One of life's little lies and curse words combined. Yes, I need and enjoy training. Yes, I detest and abhor training. Two sides of a three sided coin (the other side is ice cream...chunky peanut butter ice cream, perhaps with coffee flavor...).

Three weeks left of the grind, before three weeks of THE Grind! At this stage in my training schedule, my goals are twofold; 1. Keep up mileage > 200 miles a week, and 2. Avoid measuring my progress by miles per week. Sound conflicting? You should see it from my view. Last week 283 miles with tons of climbing (yep, climbing is measured by weight). 

This week I swapped a rim and put on a new tire. Hey, might as well change things up right before a race, eh? 'The' tire, as in the one I'll run the TD with: Maxxis Ikon 2.35" thingy. Damn, is that a large beasty out front! I cleverly saved $6.99 by reusing my tubeless rim strip. Four CO2 cartridges later, after limping home on a leaky tire today, I bought a new rim strip. And yes, I also pumped up the tire as well - just got lazy and had to use up those 30 cartridges for $40 I got a few years ago.

Oh yah, I ditched the dyno hub, as my second rectifier circuit (the electrickery thingy that helps fry your lights) went up in smoke. See above, "change things right before a race". Cannot afford an unplanned release of energy 'event' whilst on the Tour. So back to batteries. There, 'one less thing' as Momma used to curse. Bring on those lithium's.

Anyway, back to training. I'm ready to go now. There, I said it, put me in the game coach! Which brings up a boogie man in that I may have duplicated my mistake as I did in 2015 with peaking too soon. So the challenge is to maintain for another three weeks while not climbing over the sharp edge.

How much training is too much/little? Wrong question! The correct question is: what is just the right amount of training? Why heck, it's right between too much and too little. Won't go into all my conspiracy theories about training and its' effect on the body, or that little theory I have about why Big Foot never gets athletes' foot, but for me the right amount ends with about 6 full weeks at 200 miles per week, with plenty of climbing. Then again, I live and train at about a mile altitude, so do that too.

Last minute fussing with gear, as in which of five sleeping bags to take. Tried my 'old' (circa 2015) bag out in the backyard. 45 degree rated bag in 33 degree temps. I lasted until 5 a.m. . So I bought three more. My wife made me do it. One arrived and is very warm, hot even, but heavy. The other two are on there way from Japan. Montbell bags, they are. #1, #2, and #3 models, 800 fill down. Weights from 1 pound 3 ounce (#3) to 2 pounds 2 ounces (#1). Going to be a Goldilocks scenario, one too warm, one too cold, and one just right. Of course I'm a weight whore, so the lightest one will be just right!

Soon to come I will lay out my gear in another blog and go through the thought process (all four brain cells) in selecting the perfect kit. I will not specify which items I'll mail back the second race day though, leaving that to the gentle reader to perceive.

Had to remake my frame bag as the one I specially designed after countless hours of thought (actually dreamed of the design one night) was a great idea, and full of promise. Like the Titanic, it looked slick but had, erm, 'issues'. The new one is simple and works great. Ditto going to remake my feedbags and gas tank bag. Hey, for me sewing bags is both manly - got that? MANLY - and therapy, so no drama.

The end of training represents the start of the Tour Divide, and the end of the TOur Divide is the start of training for the next one. Cycles. Not all are titanium.

A Weighty Conversation With the Lamppost

 Long time ago I last posted. Seems like only yesterday. OK, trite, it does seem like a long time ago. And time is the subject herein.

With age comes reason. A reason for worry, and a reason to either get off yer duff and do something about whatever it is you should do something about, or accept that the 'whatever' is evermore. Whew! You see, I'm seventy now, thus am taken for either a wise aged sage, or a retro-grouch; depends on the listener.

For 25 years my dream/goal/nemesis has been to lose a lot of weight, and get down to 175 pounds. I mean a LOT of weight – as I hit 24X pounds one fine and heavy day years past (the 'X' is left for the reader's imagination). Seeing the second guy hugging me when I looked into the mirror got my attention. I was ticketed on the freeway for hauling an illegal butt. That thing slapping the back of my knees when I walked to the shower was...

Then a good thing happened; Eight years ago I was laid off at work one fine birthday, and set out the door with my severance package and my at-work bike clothes (I had started riding to work a couple times a week just a month before). And I started riding. A lot, for me that is.

The weight started coming off. I started training for the Tour Divide race, and more weight evaporated. Final tally was forty pounds in seven months. And it was great! Except, I gained some back after the race. Drat, back up to 210, then another TD training session and down to 190, then back up, and another year training and down to 194, and up to 213. Roller-coaster.

Here I sit at 180.6 pounds (yes, tenths matter!). Finally, I'm committed to shrinking and keeping my weight at or below 175. Yah, yah, I know, another guy blurbing about weight that nobody else cares about.

But the lamppost does! Lemme 'splain. You see there's this post on my riding route with a crosswalk light button, that is designed for sight impaired people. When pushed, the post says, “Wait!”, or as I imagine, sometimes, “Weight!”. We have conversations.

Hey post, what am I trying to lose?” “Weight!”.

Can I lose it all at once or do I have to...”. “WAIT!”.

See anything different about me, and it's not my hair doo?”. “Weight” .

And then it comes to an end, and I must leave, “The walk sign is on!”

Some people waiting for the light stare at me. Some pretend they're scrutinizing important screens on their cell phones. I just grin and keep talking. At seventy I am allowed to do that, because they never know for sure if it's pudding Tuesday for me at the 'home' tonight, or if I really am having a talk with someone. Yesterday a lady was distancing 6 feet from me while waiting. Then the post and I spoke, and magically she was twelve feet away. Considerate of her, I say.

What's been the result of dropping those nasty pounds? For starters it has been almost fun. Keeping control of my eating, learning how much I need versus what my mouth wants, and seeing that goal get closer has been exciting. Plus I finally am keeping my promise to myself, and that means a lot personally. Overcoming weakness, or taking on a challenge, or, well, you find a phrase that fits. In YodaSpeak: Good feeling, it is.

Six years ago I set a goal to ride 100 miles per week, and have kept up with the effort as best I could. For that period, my weekly overall average is 96 miles, with the lowest year 79 miles, and highest 120. Most of this is on mountain bikes, riding on the road, plus the races I do. Thirty thousand miles all told in those years.

I also am setting new 'records' on my standard riding routes. My detailed riding records allow me to compare both distance and pace per mile. Lately, I've been besting the pace records, and am in fact in the best riding shape (not counting those training TD months) since, well, ever. Bonks used to come on suddenly, with weakness and a hollow, shaky feeling. Bonks now are gradual, with only a progressive loss of power.

Speaking of road bikes, did you know that roadies won't wave back if you're on a mountain bike? Except! One of my mountain bikes has aero bars, and it sets off a mental confusion-short circuit in the roadies' brain cells that eventually causes a minor panic, and they wave back. Mostly.

Back to my story.

I'm really trying not to say, “I don't feel seventy”, because a) that is what all old people say, so cliché, and b) that presupposes I've been seventy once before and know how it feels. So far, no decline (in fact an increase) in riding performance, and I sleep less than before the weight loss. Recovery seems the same, and I climb hills faster. Oh, and my butt doesn't hurt as much.

I look smaller and...older in the mirror. Jolly Saint Nick now looks like Grinch after a bad sleep. All that extra skin sags a bit, although I hear in time it will tighten up. On the other hand, I now wear a pants size smaller than my son – woohoo!

Might not try out for the Olympics, as I hear it takes a lot of time out of a schedule, but I am looking forward to the next bikepacking trip. Being stuck in Covid-VIlle currently, so far only planning and possibilities are in the mix, but even that can be fun.

So lamppost, any chance I can bikepack soon?” “WAIT!”

Comforting Your Body and Butt Buddy

 

All bikepacking journeys begin the same; Hope and aspiration, excitement and, to be honest, a bit of trepidation. Some journeys end when the body demands fair treatment, and long days become ordeals that may violate the Geneva convention on torture.

I'm speaking of sore butts. And numb hands. You see, for most of my 67 past riding years I rode in some pain. Often a lot of pain. After literally dozens of saddles, I came to the conclusion that none worked, although some were 'less miserable' on the Butt-O-Meter.

Until...

Several years ago I noticed that my right leg was functionally shorter than the other, by about a half inch. My right foot kept unclipping out of the SPDs, and I could feel it floating at the top of each peddle stroke. I tried cleat shims. No! No, because hike-a-bike became miserable, and walking around with a metal lump on one shoe was...just no. Besides, couldn't clip in reliably, and didn't make any difference anyhow. Tried lowering the saddle to compensate. No, as my other leg started hurting, and peddling efficiency went bye-bye.

Then I read about the leather Saddle Fairy, who's velvet butt is tenderly kissed by the comfy magic abounding beside the babbling Brooks, slathered in mystic Proofide. “Oh”, said I, “This must be the fount of comfort”. And I sippeth of the Koolaid that is leather. Alas, They Hurt. All five leather saddles, three brands, they all hurt. A lot. Naughty saddles! I even had a visit to the doc (and missed a bikepacking trip) because of...well, one of my acorns got pinched and bruised by the nasty, hard saddle!

The miserable things were adjusted every way imaginable, and at all angles (two of which are not legal in any of the fifty States) with not but bad luck. In disgust, the dead cowhide contraptions were made sacrifice to the eBay God, and I resigned myself to a fate of burning bottoms and a pain filled existence.

After aborting another Tour Divide, riding on my least miserable synthetic saddle, this time for nasty saddle sores, and en-route visit to the doc for infected same, I feared that my long adventures were over.

Butt...(ha, I made a pun)...I noticed that the right sides of all my saddles were worn more than the left. And the worst sores were always on my right. And the saddle trim on the right side was bent down a bit. Hmmm.

Turns out that I a) sit asymmetrically on the saddle, b) have a functional leg shortness on the right side, and c) all synthetic saddles put more pressure on the right side each ride, and spring back to deliver pain the next ride.

What I needed was a saddle that would deform to fit my warped arse, and stay that way. Something like a leather saddle!

So I dug the remaining leather saddle out of the heap-O-failed-beasties. It was cowering under the saddle I call the 'Scrotimizer'. Then, I noticed that it was slightly deformed on the right side, with the leather just a wee bit lower than the left side. Thinking that a relief slot may help in letting my right side squash the seat lower, I cut a slot. Zooming forward, past the leather break-in agony, several hundred, indeed near a thousand miles later, the saddle deformed, dropping the right side lower by half an inch, and the pain lessened to the point that I didn't think about my saddle on rides, until I, well, I thought about the saddle. And it was good. Not great, butt (ha) good.

In my new found delirium, I danced for joy (OK, not danced. You never want to see me dance), and bought another leather saddle, this time with a slot. Same break-in pain, butt (I crack ( 'crack', a pun within a pun!) myself up) faster and same permanent deformation, same 'more comfortable' feeling. And another leather saddle, this time a different width, and yet another, and another! All of them worked. Er, except Selle Anatomica. Three. Sucked. Seriously, worst sucked ever.

Now all of my bikes, and I've got more than a few, wear leather. It's the latest thing, and sooo fashionable.

Then there's hand pain and numbness. Terminated another TD for numb hands. Ever try shifting a loaded mountain bike by reaching over with the other hand because one hand won't work? Just say 'No'. Turns out some of hand issues were related to saddles. If'n you're not sitting just so on the saddle, then too much weight on the hands results, and presto!

Padded gloves. Don't mention padded gloves. All padding in gloves is located almost, but not quite precisely, to the millimeter, in the wrong spots. Need to keep pressure off the ulnar nerve? Hey, we've got a glove with extra padding where the nerve is, that compresses your nerve even more! What engineer thought that the way to relive pressure is to add more pressure? Find me a glove with s-l-o-t-s where the nerves are. As it is, my least painful gloves are none, followed by all leather palms. Oh, and I don't get hand numbness as much anymore, even with padded gloves, as I use aero bars a lot. Glove engineers? Phooey, I say!

Think of all this as a slow moving, homemade bike-fit train wreck, but in reverse. The astute reader, and aren't you all in that category, will say, “Get thee to a bike fitter”. Know any local fitters that a) Aren't 20 year old shaved leg racers who b) know what bikepacking involves, or c) don't ask what 'category' you're in, and d) restrain from telling me to “Bring your road bike in for a fit and you can transfer the measurements to your mountain bike” ? Me neither.

Often self-reliance is the best, in the 'end' (dang, another...).




Saturday, March 4, 2017

Training and Other Character Flaws


There’s a snow pack rising, and I’ve got evil on my mind

It’s here. Training that is. So far three weeks of sticking to the preset training schedule, increasing mileage by 9% per week. With the ride today that makes 132 miles this week. The ride today…winds of 25 miles per hour. Someone once stated that ‘the wind is my friend’, when training. That person was demented. The thought is that the extra effort riding against the wind helps. Sure.

I take it personally though! In my heart I know that there is a Training God, and he is of the Old Testament because he rides a Brooks saddle (thus in agony, but denies it in favor of fashionability), not merciful, and takes liberties to torment the poor bike rider. Hills must end, races have a distance limit, and winds do not. OK, stop whining.

The aero bars help a lot, and to be fair the experience of toughing it out is a plus. Gosh I hate to be rational – more satisfying to whine! Anymore, the wind is an annoyance, but helps to gain that ‘adverse conditioning’ so necessary for racing the Tour Divide.

Three more months to go. By that time I should be at a 300 mile per week level, holding it for three weeks, then tapering the last ten days. There is no ‘peak’ level I am striving for. Peaking before the TD is physical suicide – you will peak on the ride. There is no way you can hold your peak conditioning for two or three weeks! If you have, in fact, peaked before the race, then each day after about a week or so will put you in the hole. That’s my scientific buttwing guess.

No, I don’t do any specific interval training, although parts of my ride resemble intervals, such as brief steep hill all out climbs. My spin classes substitute for interval training, not that I need a lot of intervals. They do help though. Oh, and for now I train almost exclusively on pavement.

My typical routes (overall) average about fifty to seventy-five feet of climbing per mile of distance. Except the average consists of valley flats with rolling hills, and extended climbs in the Sierra foothills. My problem, if you can call it that, is that I have one speed, and that is what I call ‘training pace’. The pace is relatively fast (for me!), and more than sixty plus percent of time is spent in heart rate zones 3, 4, and 5. I know that I should slow down for some rides, and I’ve been trying. The funny thing is that keeping my heart rate in zone 2 or low 3 results in a per mile time increase of only 7 to 10 percent of normal training. Think I would learn? Later maybe.

I do have recovery rides scheduled and every third or fourth week is a recovery week (recovery weeks are 60% of previous week mileage). Last race training year (2015) I forced myself to slow down periodically, and will again this year. Ditto weight training. The past few months I’ve increased the weights by 50 to 100% depending on specific exercise. Yep, noticed a significant increase in strength, along with more fatigue, while teetering right on the edge of injury. Now that I’m ramping up the miles, I’ll back off the mass slowly, coming back down to the normal weights.

Brain freeze - Snow is on my mind. The snowpack in Montana and Wyoming is higher than average. In Wyoming it is 200% of average for parts of the TD route. In years past parts of the race have been rerouted to avoid snowed in mountain passes.  I really want to race the entire route, and a delay of a year is not in the cards. I’ve worked too hard this last year pre-training, and besides, next year might be worse. Another adversity to overcome. Heck, who knows? Perhaps this year will be a warm spring and snow will magically go away the week before the start. Race regardless, race with honor.

My hands are getting better, having a long history of numbness during rides. Part of that is changing my handlebars to a 41 degree back sweep model and a 30 degree stem. That puts me more upright, (maybe too much) taking weight off my hands. Still fiddling with the angles and dangles, grips and such, but looks promising.  Another help is that I’ve been doing planks as part of my training, and my core is stronger.

A recent discovery is that my right hand ulnar numbness (last two fingers only) is in part a problem of where the nerve crosses the inner elbow (it gets irritated). Look up ‘Ulnar Flossing’ on YouTube – thanks to Matt Lee for that tip. It’s a method of stretching the ulnar nerve, helping to relieve numbness. My fingers still fall asleep at night when I am on my right side though. Take care when you ride to avoid hand issues – mine stem from the 2013 TD ride injuries, exacerbated greatly by the 2015 race, and riding since then hasn’t made things better. You have been warned.

Speaking of my butt, my long standing issue of uncomfortable saddles has eased a bit. Still, I prefer to describe my present saddle as my ‘least painful’, rather than most comfortable. (I give names to my saddles, such as ‘Vlad the Impaler’, ‘Cheek grater’, ‘Chainsaw’, ‘Scrotumizer’ and the like). A large part of the improvement is just putting in mile after mile. I’ve been changing saddles recently to ‘train’ my hiney (I’ve got fifteen or twenty saddles to choose from). Confounding the issue is that the more upright position changes the butt-ometry, so to speak, thus the discomfort level of certain saddles.


All things are interconnected.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Motive-Vation: Why I Ride


Is a cougar best measured in grams or ounces?

So let’s assume for argument’s sake that I ride for a reason, or reasons. What are they? Often I’m in a slump and have ‘reasons’ not to ride, but then remind myself that each ride is different. I chant, “Don’t judge the ride before it is over”.  Lately the weather here has been…well, apocalyptic, and I’ve been chanting a lot. We’ve had in close succession heavy snowfall, very heavy rains, regional flooding, more snow, more rain, flash flooding, more snow, and freezing temps. Our town gets 300+ days of sunshine a year. Normally. Not this year though, and getting my 100 miles a week in on my bike outdoors has been impossible the past two weeks. 

I’m constantly reminding myself that my TD training has not started yet, so don’t worry about the mileage. Sure. Another chant on my rides, when I notice that I’m up to training pace is, “I’m not training yet!”.  I talk to myself a lot during the rides. Sometimes I get a third opinion that sneaks in from somewhere. Hah. A month until I start the real TD training.

So I changed gears a bit (oops, pun). Flooding? Well heck, I’ve got TD-grade rain gear, no? So out I went in torrential rains and howling winds to view our neighborhood and the flooding near our home (we’re 50’ above flood stage, not so lucky for all of our neighbors). The small stream near our house was a raging river. Holy torrent, Bikeman! One of the two access roads into our area was under water.

I rode over the one remaining (and shaking!) bridge that was open and down to the major thoroughfare across the river that runs through the city, where it was barricaded off, and I stopped to speak with the officer guarding the intersection. I figured that it even though the sign said, “Road Closed”, the bikepath next to the road didn’t have a sign. Not surprisingly he asked what I was doing out in the storm. I answered, “Science experiment, gear testing”. After a bit I asked if I could ride down to the bridge across the river. He thought a moment and then said that I could, but the County workers there might yell at me. Perhaps he thought that bikers were expendable?

At the river I was stunned by the amount and speed of the water which barely cleared the underside of the bridge. Add to that the whole trees and other debris being carried away by the flood. Yep, the County workers, there to assess the damage and guard the bridge, had the sandbag trucks parked on the bridge (!!), and they were watching the flood. When they noticed me I yelled, “The cop said it was OK to ride down here!”. Heh heh.

I’m beginning to dislike spin classes at the gym and trainer sessions in my garage. About a dozen hour long sessions in the past two weeks. Plus weightlifting  at the gym. And I snuck in a few rides outside, ice permitting. Oh, and getting bundled up from head to toe is getting old. My balaclava facemask actually feels like a second skin now.

A while back I was riding near the small stream noted above. Suddenly a coyote darted out of a ravine twenty feet in front of me. He and I came to a quick stop. Not that I was worried about him, just didn’t want to collide with any critter having teeth. I had seen him before sneaking around in the field nearby, but from a couple hundred yards distance. He watched me, cocking one eye up, and I watched him, cocking one eye up. We stood there, cockeyed, for thirty seconds, at which time he trotted off casually. A beautiful animal; a fluffy winter coat with orange-brown color highlights. 

For those not familiar with coyotes, they have the body mass of a wet poodle, but their fur coats make them look much larger. They don’t bother humans, unless it is to snack on their small dogs and cats. The day before the flood I saw his cousin, on my paved street, at one in the morning. We have rabbits in the area. We don’t have outdoor cats. I like cats. And cougars. One was found hiding under a house right next to a sign on my training route that said “End Bike Path”. Perhaps it should have added, “…and Start Cougar Trail”. We’ve had bears come down from the mountains in search of snacks, and I’ve seen bear scat a couple times.

Aforesaid stream flows along 12 miles of my route. At one point it crosses an earthen dam (only a few feet high, and the water flows across the roadway) that forms a large pond. Egret, ducks, geese and storks frequent the waters and surrounding swamp, and wild horses come here to water and mooch from misguided people that feed them. In the hills above the pond, a wild horse actually came up to me and ate the map I was holding!

On one cold day I noticed a bike parked on the dam, and the rider was wading in the pond with a fly rod in his hands. Since there was a thin layer of ice on the pond, both the fly rod and someone wading in freezing water rattled my brain. I stopped and waited until he came back to his bike and spoke with him. Seems that he was from an eastern European country, here to work temporarily. We talked about fly fishing, and what species of fish were in the pond (I had seen large carp spawning there in the spring), and a bit about his wonderment that this lovely pond saw no fishing pressure. Uh, hello, it’s like frozen! I rode away with a new appreciation of the pond, and felt good about having stopped and talked to a fellow biker/fisherman, even if he was a bit optimistic about fishing through the ice.

Yesterday I managed to get a forty miler in, riding in a steady drizzle with high winds, dodging ice and snow banks. During the ride I passed two farms that had Llamas munching hay, one that had Alpacas, and another where the peacocks strolled unconcerned. A ways farther the Texas longhorn cattle were resting in a field where another coyote is often seen looking lustily at the geese feeding on small grass shoots. Speaking of geese, we have a huge gaggle in town. They have babies in the spring, and the cute tiny fuzzballs are a joy to watch. Last year I counted forty-two fuzzies being herded by three nesting pairs of geese.
Each ride is logged into my paper journal, and in my electronic one, plus analyzed and charted in my master ‘too-much-data’ spreadsheet. I’m constantly testing gear, weighing it and making notes of its performance.


Why do I ride? Perhaps it’s because I’m noticing that not all is time, speed, distance, weight, and frequency.  Now, how to log all those storms, floods, coyotes, geese, horses, ducks, fish, cattle, storks, and other animals into my tracking spreadsheet? I may need more columns. But then again, I would have to weigh a cougar. Hmmm…

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Equipment: Lite, Ultralite, and Ultra-Stupid-Lite

                             If I let all the air out of my tires, I can save 12 grams!

Back in the day, which is to say back before evidence was all over the internet, thus I can claim anything without fear of being called out, I had a job as a climbing guide assistant, and in the off hours a dishwasher at the mountain lodge, or it might have been the other way around. Sexy sounding I know, and the most 'fun', besides teaching clients self arrest on the snow (sometimes they kept sliding!), was carrying garbage down from the high camp. For safety, we worked in teams of two, the logic was that both of us could get lost together. We made the chore even more fun by competing to see who could carry the most garbage 4,000’ elevation feet down the glacier in our frame packs. I seem to remember carrying 165 pounds once.

Newton’s Gravitation Equation: Fgrav = (G*M1*M2)/2 
Flash forward to my first run at the TD race several years ago. My kit was somewhere north of 30 pounds without water and food. My tent alone weighed 3 pounds 11 ounces. In Eureka Montana I mailed home over eight pounds of crap, and was still overweight in ‘equipcrap’.

Second try at the TD, my kit weighed 25+ pounds including everything that I wore, helmet, shoes and all. And still I mailed a bunch home en route. My entire sleep system then, new tent, new bag, and new pad, weighed a half pound more than just the tent I carried the first time.

It’s said that the best way to lose a pound of weight is to lose an ounce for each item, sixteen items at a time. Yes I obsess over gear weight. I’ve got a database of 228 items complete with descriptions, pounds, ounces, grams and such. Did I mention that an essential piece of kit is an accurate postal scale? Hi, I am a TD racer and I’m an Obsessaholic.

My next year list includes 19 pounds of gear. This includes bike bags and all I am wearing. What, may you ask, did I cut out of the prior list? Not so simple, as there’s cutting, and there’s spending money for new, lighter gear. Given a big enough bankroll, I could cut another several pounds out of the carry items, and several more off the bike. The big question is, how light do I want to spend? New for this year is a titanium bike, two chain rings instead of three, lightweight yet sturdy rear hub, lighter weight aero bars, but an added porky dynamo hub. So the entire bike weight comes in a pound+ less than the previous aluminum bike (with no dyno hub). Oh, and I don’t have to carry so many batteries.

One of the best ways to reduce weight is to take a critical look at yourself in the mirror, naked. Jump up and down; that which jiggles when it shouldn’t is excess weight. In my case I’m committed to lose an additional (personal) 20 pounds from last trip (before the first trip I lost 50 pounds, yep the big five-O). Combined with the reduction in kit weight, I’ll be carrying 26 pounds or so less ‘stuff’. Hey, compared to last time that’s essentially riding without a load!

Danger! Math ahead!!! Losing 10% of total bike/rider weight, I should be able to go about 10% faster up the hills, 0.8% faster on the level, and about 3% slower on the downhills (because gravity sucks, and it sucks stronger on more massive stuff). Take a look at the time savings on the uphills! Uphill riding is slow, thus I spend a lot more time riding hills (about 63% of total ride time) than on flats (25%) or downhill (12.5% of total time). So saving 10% on uphills translates to about 10% * 63% = 6.3% total riding time savings. Add 0.8% of 25% (time spent on flats): 0.8% * 25% = 2%, Subtract for downhills: 3% * 12.5% = 0.4%. Total them up: 6.3% + 2% - 0.4% = 7.9% overall time savings. For a 25 day ride that cuts almost two days total trip time! This should tell you where to focus your training…can you say “Hills” ?

Baggins
I can’t give you advice about bike bag brands, as I make all of my own. Sewing them is therapy, and all new bags are in the works. My new frame triangle is, er, small. How small? I calculated that I have room for a bag half the volume that of the former frame bag. Add a handlebar bag (sleep system), seatbag (clothes, etc.), a big 2 liter gas tank bag (electronics/snacks), a downtube tool/tube bag, a downtube mount for a water bottle, and two handlebar feedbags. In one of the feedbags I store my one liter water bottle with an attached pouch to hold bear spray, and in the other either another bottle/water-bag or food and junk, plus an external pouch for my water filter.

I’m taking a Sea to Summit ultralight backpack (2.6 ounces) that folds up smaller than a sour lemon, and normally will remain stowed. Food will hang in it, and if I have to carry extra food or water for a short time it’s handy. About backpacks: Don’t take a backpack for daily load carrying, just don’t! Your arse will thank you. An important point here is the ‘backpack vacuum principle’ – bags tend to suck in extra crap to fill the volume.  I know that Europeans tend to use backpacks quite a bit. Not sure why. I’ve carried a backpack and will never go back. Total bikepacking bag system weight: max 2 pounds.

The Emperors’ New Clothes
 Basic rule of thumb, take one item of each type of clothing (except socks – you may take two pair). Yes you have to live in one pair of riding shorts the entire trip, and no, the one jersey will do nicely. For my body, I’m taking riding shorts, shoes, helmet, jersey, arm sun sleeves, lightweight leg warmers, a hat, wool long sleeve baselayer, and my synthetic puffy 13 ounce jacket. Raingear includes a 7.8 ounce jacket and 7.7 ounce pants. Add two pairs of wool socks, and both riding and rain gloves and that’s about it. As an example of weight saving one item at a time, my bomb proof Gore Tex rain coat last trip weighed 15.4 ounces. My new one is half that. The entire clothing ensemble, complete with shoes and helmet, weighs 6.9 pounds.

Speaking of clothing, especially rain gear: You will get and remain wet for long periods.

Read that again. Your whiz-bang BlowerBreath fancy raincoat fabric will not breathe in the rain. And it will rain young Jedi, oh yesss, plus you’re gonna sweat buckets. Pit zips or vents are a must. The prime rule is ‘Wet and warm’! If there is any category where you can ‘cheat’, and take extra, it is clothing. Be sure that you can keep at least your core warm. Hypothermia is a big danger.

The general idea is to shed rain and keep warm by layering. So from outside in, the max layers (for me) would be rain gear, outer warm jacket, jersey, then a baselayer (long sleeve wool top plus arm and leg warmers). Probably not going to wear all of them at once very often. I’ve used both wool and synthetic baselayer tops on my trips. Get merino wool – stays warmer than synthetics when wet. Oh, and you don’t stink…too badly.

And while we are on the subject of down for insulation…If you take it make sure that the down is treated with some kind of water repellent at the factory. Not just the fabric, the actual down. No question that down is uber warm. Also no question that down, when wet, is basically useless. I’ve got a down bag, kinda heavy at 21 ounces, and it contains treated down. On the last trip I had some minor issues with dampness. Lesson – take extra steps to keep down dry, like keeping your bag in its’ own waterproof outer bag.

Sleep no more! Macbeth doth murder sleep!
Perhaps the most important thing you can do to ensure domestic tranquility is to take a sleep system that lets you get comfortable rest. In an emergency the shelter may make a difference between being miserable and miserably dead. Cerebro-chemical info: When you torture your body with long hours in the saddle, your body produces chemicals that interfere with sleep. Two of the hormones that appear to play a significant role in post-workout sleep disturbances are norepinephrine and cortisol. My first trip I slept like the dead, but was at a touring pace (60+ miles/day). Last year at race pace I didn’t sleep much. My mind was buzzing and some nights I did not sleep at all. Part of the problem was a slow leak in my pad. The other, I’m sure, was the chemical imbalance. Next year I’m coming armed with Ambien, just in case. Oh, and a better pad! Sleep issues contributed to poor performance and bad judgment, and I’m avoiding that road again.

Water water everywhere.  
I’m taking enough water storage to carry 6+ liters, consisting of one liter water bottle, and Platypus and Nalgene water bags. The Nalgene bag will be used at night as my pee bottle. A good rinse, put a tablet in it, and fresh as a daisy!  I used a Sawyer mini water filter last time and will take it again. The filter has a one liter squeeze bag that normally is ‘dirty’, that is, it holds dirty water to be squeezed thru the filter. I’ve used the bag before to hold clean water – simply fill with dirty water and drop a tablet in. Tip: Don’t let the filter freeze as it will split internally! Plenty of water in Canada and Montana, thru to Pinedale Wyoming; a water source will pop up every several miles. Rookie mistake #253 is carrying too much water. After that the Great Basin is a bit dry, getting wetter in Colorado. New Mexico is dry much of the route. Sure you can buy water at stores. Want more water storage along the route? Buy half gallon sodas. Nice bottles.

Be double damn sure that whatever method you use to treat water gets rid of both Giardia and Cryptosporidium. Iodine doesn’t. Chlorine doesn’t. Many water treatment tablets don’t. I carry Katadyn tablets as a treatment backup because it kills everything. Don’t be confused by tablets that release chlorine dioxide – that chemical then forms a strong oxidizer. It is not the chlorine that kills stuff. Rookie mistake #127, drinking from streams - clear water is not clean water! Weight of water system: 0.7 pounds.

Buddy, can you spare a spare?
 Repair parts include two lightweight tubes and patch kits (I run tubeless normally), a tire boot, 2 ounces of Stan’s sealant (tip: put some Stan’s in tubes when you use them), a derailleur hanger, a few miscellaneous bolts, tire lever, allen keys and Torx driver, chain tool and extra links, tire pump, chain lube, small multi-tool with knife and pliers, a CO2 inflator head (in case I buy cartridges en route), brake pads, a few zip ties, tape (wound around pump), and a couple spokes with nipples, 30 feet of cord (to hang food, rope cattle), and a cable bike lock. Total weight: 1.74 pounds.

Some tubeless riders carry one spare tube, some no spare (I call the latter ‘clueless riders’). Last time I put a tube in on the Rail Trail (not a flat – my fault letting too much air out for traction). Later, zipping along in the exact middle of Great-Basin-nowhere on the hottest day of the race, Bam! Two pinch flats, and another mystery leak. While patching five holes (three different patch jobs as I didn’t realize I had two sets of pinch flats), I reflected on what would happen if I didn’t have another spare tube, and this one was unrepairable; a long thirsty walk. So I take two spares. However, my new lightweight ones together weigh 6 ounces less than the previous pair of ‘normal’ weight tubes. Tip: a 26” tube will work as spare for 29” wheels. Just inflate it before the race and let it sit overnight to stretch. Weight – darn close to the lightweight 29er tubes.
Speaking of carrying tubes – wrap one around the front hub, secured with Velcro or a strap. The wheel carries the weight, not your bags. I’ve used that method for over 20 years.

The Official TD Race Cooking Setup
None. Nyet, Nein, Nicht, Nada, Nope, don’t even. Not even a cup.

Errata
Then there is the electronic stuff. Particulars are still somewhat in flux (pun intended): Last two times I used a Garmin GPS plus a simple wired computer as backup. I’ve been running this year with a lightweight O_Synce Navi2Coach bike computer that has GPS route uploading capability. At 2.6 ounces versus 6.6 for the Garmin, I can carry two with one as a backup (yes I’ve got two). Then again the Garmin will let me know of upcoming turns, campsites, food, etc. (I program waypoints with visible labels and proximity alerts). The dyno hub allows me to recharge the Navi lithium batteries on the fly, but I also have a lithium powerbank should I use the Garmin. I’ve got a power cable for the Garmin that allows me to both power and use it at the same time. Special sauce cable I made – normal USB cables won’t work.

My cunning plan is to run more at night, so I’m taking my trusty Fenix BT10 headlight. I may carry rechargeable batteries for it, or run it directly off the dyno, or both. Yep, cell phone with another GPS backup route application, plus charger (works with the Navi2Coach computer as well). I’ve cobbled together a wiring system that charges lithium, USB, and runs the Fenix directly off the dyno. SPOT tracker is in there somewhere of course. All that and a few pieces more come in at 2 pounds. Sheesh, I gotta review that list.

End of list
Add a first aid/medical kit, sunscreen, a few maps, butt cream, bear spray (13 oz.), money, passport, wallet, whistle, ‘personal paper’ and I come up with 1.9 pounds more.

As compared to the racing ‘Gods’, my kit is butt heavy. The faster you ride, the less you need to carry, plus those speedsters endure less sleep and generally take survival level equipment. When you ride close to 200 miles a day, several food and water stops are a bet, and hotels are encountered more often, so who needs gear?

Stuff it !
I laid out all my stuff and packed it into the toolbag, gas tank bag, feedbags, seatpack, and handlebar bag. Holy craparel – it all fit! All this contained without a framebag – WooHoo! Before I get too excited, I still will make a framebag, as I need space for extra food/water for long stretches. I well may make a partial frame bag though, and leave room for a liter water bottle mount in the frame.

Light (weight) at the End of the Trail
If you are struggling with what to take or not, have someone look over your pile’O’stuff. Sometimes I get so fixated on choices that I don’t see the excess junk that my wife does. Of course to her most of my stuff is ‘excess’!


To put this entire gram counting in perspective, one master class racer said it best, “I haven’t weighed my stuff, I just take what I know I need”. So there! 

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Critters de Tour: Things that go bump in the night

There's been questions every year regarding critters, mostly bears, on the TD race route. The following are comments liberally stolen from sources on the internet, interspersed with my own experiences.  No intent on my part is to be an expert, as I do not have direct experience with many creatures listed here, so take the following as one person's collection, and not a guarantee of safety! Although I have worked in grizzly and black bear country before, and seen several in the wild - never had a problem with them - fine with me! Ditto never happened upon a moose either, or wolf.

Coyotes:  These relatively harmless animals. They resemble dogs, are generally tan to light brown in color, and are about the size of a German Sheppard. They are skinny, and their fluffy coat makes them look a bit larger. Coyotes (almost) never attack adults. We have coyotes in our neighborhood, and although there are, ahem, mysteriously few small dogs and cats anymore, they do not bother people. The only real threat is to very small children. You may hear them howling, more of a yipping noise, and no recorded case of humans being injured by their noise is on record. There are two confirmed fatal attacks by coyotes in North America.; one on a three year old girl, and the other by a pack of coyotes on a 19 year old female hiking in Canada.
Wolves: Larger than coyotes, wolves are not a generally a threat, and if you see one you are very lucky, as they avoid humans in the wild. I found six cases during the past 100 years of fatal wolf attacks on the North American continent, that did not involve pet wolves, or zoo animal attacks.

Snakes: The most common snake to be concerned about is the western diamondback, Crotalus atrox. Commonly called a rattlesnake, or 'rattler', this snake is found from Canada to Mexico. It is classified as a pit viper, and injects venom via two fangs. The venom is hemotoxic, and causes death to tissues. Most fatalities from snake bites are to the very small and young, or to very old victims. Although called a rattlesnake, about a third of the snakes have lost their rattles, so may not give warning. Rattlers can strike about 2/3 of their length when they are coiled, and cannot 'jump' at a person. Twenty to forty percent of rattler bites are 'dry' warning bites and venom is not injected. Rattlesnake venom is 1/10th the strength of cobra venom. Snakes love shade when it is hot, and hang out near water if given the choice, as their food source also likes water. Avoid snakes by not stepping near logs or rocks that may shelter them. If you are lucky you may see them, especially in the lower elevations in Montana and Wyoming.  Along the route this is the most venomous snake you will encounter – North America does not have really nasty snakes such as cobras or the like.

I've worked in rattlesnake country for many years, seen hundreds of them, and not had a problem. (However, I do not handle rattlers for 'fun' anymore, as I used to when I was younger, immortal, and stupid!) When I was a medic in the Army, I helped treat several pit viper snake bites from the Okinawan 'Habu' - a snake related to the rattlesnake. Treatment is to use a constricting band above the bite (not a tourniquet!), keep the limb lower than the heart, and get the person to medical aid. Rattlesnake bites are rarely fatal to humans if treated promptly. An estimated 7,000 to 8,000 people are bitten by venomous snakes in the United States each year with approximately five deaths. The most important factor in survival following a severe envenomation is the amount of time elapsed between the bite and treatment. Most deaths occur between 6 and 48 hours after the bite. If antivenin treatment is given within 2 hours of the bite, however, the probability of recovery is greater than 99%.

Spiders: The two spiders that may hang out in outhouses (toilets) or old buildings are the Black Widow (similar to the Australian Redback), and the Brown Reclusa. The Black Widow is shiny black, about a cm or two long (total legs and body), has pronounced long front legs, and a red hourglass shape on its belly - yep, ya gotta turn it over to see! The reclusa is similar in size, and brown colored. Both are relatively harmless, and cause local tissue damage if a bite ensues. Check under toilet seats and watch where you place your hands if moving objects. We've got Black Widows living in our garage and outbuilding, and other than me vaporizing them if found, they don't cause a fuss.

Scorpions: Ditto watch where you reach, and check your shoes before you put them on in the morning. Scorpions are found in lower, hotter elevations. Their bite is like being stung by a wasp (I know), so not a dangerous beasty.

Wolverines: Wolverines are the size of medium dogs and have been described as looking like skunks or a small bear. They're difficult to spot as they travel alone and are shy. There are few documented cases of wolverine attacks on humans - most involve people trying to grab them. Really not an issue. You may see one if lucky.

Cougars (aka puma, mountain lion, mountain cat, catamount, or panther): Although cougar attacks have occurred on lone hikers and joggers, most attacks are on small children, and even those are rare. Cougars are solitary, and seeing one in the wild is a treat. I've seen two, and tracks of many. Cougars do not attack groups of people. Wikipedia says it best:  "At least 20 people in North America were killed by cougars between 1890 and 2011, including six in California. More than two-thirds of the Canadian fatalities occurred on Vancouver Island in British Columbia. Fatal cougar attacks are extremely rare and occur much less frequently than fatal dog attacks, fatal snake bites, fatal lightning strikes, or fatal bee stings. Children are particularly vulnerable. The majority of the child victims listed here were not accompanied by adults.

As with many predators, a cougar may attack if cornered, if a fleeing human stimulates their instinct to chase, or if a person "plays dead". Standing still quietly may cause the cougar to consider a person easy prey. Exaggerating the threat to the animal through intense eye contact, loud shouting, and any other action to appear larger and more menacing, may make the animal retreat. Fighting back with sticks and rocks, or even bare hands, is often effective in persuading an attacking cougar to disengage."

Cougar rule: Always intimidate them, and fight back. Never play dead! Wave your coat, pack, or bike above your head to appear larger, and stand your ground or advance slowly towards them while making a lot of noise and showing your best 'nasty face'. Do not bend or stoop down, as you will appear small and vulnerable. Stare them down, and never, ever run! Cougars also are deterred by bear spray.

There is a cougar in the hills above my house, and I don't have any concerns with riding there alone. Cougars may follow you, as they are curious like all cats. I have witnessed a cougar following another hiker, and one following me, with no ill effects. When I would ride at night in the snow I occasionally saw cougar tracks along my bike route.

Bears in general: Many problems with bears involve 'habituated' bears, or those who are used to humans and relate humans to garbage or left behind food at campsites. You will still see idiots at some national parks feeding bears (against the law)! There is a saying in the bear management circles that, "A fed bear is a dead bear.". This means that if a bear is habituated to food, it is either destroyed, or relocated. Relocated bears often continue to be a problem and must be destroyed.

Grizzly Bears (Ursus Horriblus) aka Brown Bears:
Identification - Even experts may have trouble identifying black from grizzly bears. Fur color is not reliable, as black bears may be brown and griz may be black. Size may not help either, as young, smaller, griz that resemble black bears are more curious and may approach more readily. Griz have a distinct hump between their shoulder blades, visible when they are on all fours. Black bears may have a hump that is visible when they have their head down when feeding. A key identifier is the shape of the bear's muzzle: a griz has a nose and forehead similar to that of dogs - a pronounced forehead - think German Sheppard face. A black bear has a nose bridge that slopes from the forehead to the tip - think Roman nose.

General Rules (exceptions noted below): The key to minimizing risk is to avoid encounters. Most human-bear conflicts are caused by surprise encounters, and bear attraction to human foods or related scents. The two worst encounters are surprising a mother with cubs, and being close to a bear's guarded food source (like a dead animal). Bear attacks on humans are relatively rare. Attacks on groups of three or more are even rarer. Bears are a lot like dogs in that each has a different personality. Some are passive, some are grumpy.

Rules to live by are to make noise when traveling and to camp safely. Bears are solitary creatures with an incredible sense of hearing and smell. Human voices in a low register carry well, noisemakers such as whistles also do OK. Bells have been found to be much less effective, and are derisively called 'dinner bells'. When camping, check the campsite to make sure that no trace of human food, food wrappers, or burnt food are evident. A bad sign is nearby bear scat with bits of human garbage. An even worse sign is bear scat with bike parts! If anything is amiss at the campsite, move on to someplace safer – period. Once a campsite has been compromised cleaning it up will do no good as bears have excellent ‘food location’ memory. Don't camp on trails, or in thick brush: bears travel as we do and use brush to lurk around in. Be aware that near rushing water noise does not carry well, and you must be extra vigilant.

Never cook in your tent, instead cook 50-100 meters from camp, downwind. Store food, wrappers, toiletries, sanitary napkins, sunscreen, bug spray and anything with a scent either in provided metal food lockers, or 100 meters downwind from camp, hung in a odor proof bag on a tree branch a minimum of 4 meters above the ground and 2 meters from the tree trunk..

1. Unlike black bears, grizzly bears always win. They will intimidate you. As when playing games with young children, let them 'win'. Assume a non-dominant posture, quarter away from the bear, slightly lower your head, and  keep him in your vision (never lose sight or turn your back to a bear)!

2. As with lions and tigers, running from the bear triggers the chase/attack response. Only prey runs. Prey also squeaks, so keep your voice low and gentle. Never make barking or grunting noises at the bear - it's a sign you want to fight. If the bear is far away, and starts a charge, you theoretically can climb a tree to escape. Keep this in mind: your feet must be 5 meters up a tree to be 'safe', and a bear can run at 10-15 meters per second, so do the math. Can you get to and climb a tree in 20 seconds? If so the bear traveled 200-300 meters in this time. A friend of mine has a dog warning sign on his fence: "My dog can make it to the gate in 2.1 seconds, can you?" .

3. The response to a charge is to 'spray and pray' if the bear gets within 6 meters, assuming you have bear spray. Know how to use it and keep it either on your person, or in a handy holster on your bike when riding.  Bear spray does not seem to make an actual attack worse.

4. If the bear does not charge, or if it is a false charge, slowly back away from the encounter. Statistically, the majority of charges end with no contact. If your movement agitates the bear, stand still until it leaves. The bear may charge several times. Dropping small items may distract a bear (but not food!), but keep your pack on if you have one - it may help protect you. (I'll fill you in later on my foolproof candy bar strategy for bear attacks - har har)

5. If the bear makes contact, it will most likely injure you. The key to minimizing injury is to play dead by covering your neck (very important!) and keeping on your stomach. The bear will try to turn you over - keep your feet and legs slightly spread to prevent this. Keep quite! The bear cannot open his mouth enough to crush your skull, but can kill by breaking your neck - keep it covered. It may chew on you, swat you, and bite you. When the bear leaves, stay still, as it may be watching you. Wait several minutes. If in a larger group, several people coming to the aid of a victim while the bear is attacking may drive it off.

Exceptions: If a bear attacks, and is actually eating, not just biting you, fight back. Aim for the delicate nose and eyes. If attacked at night while in your tent you have to make a judgment call: is the bear merely ripping open a tent looking for candy bars, or are you the object? If you are dragged out of your tent, it's time to fight back. Note that black bears sometimes are predatory, so identifying the species is not important in these cases.

Attacks / Charges: Most bear 'attacks', both by black and grizzly bears, end with an aborted 'false' charge. Unfortunately, the way to tell if the charge is a false one is when the contact does/doesn't occur.

Bear Spray: Bears have a nose that is seven times more sensitive than a dog's. This both lets them sniff out your Snickers candy bar from a mile away (quite literally), and leaves them vulnerable to irritants, such as bear spray. The spray is a 2% solution of the 'hot' in hot peppers. Police spray in contrast is a 10% concentration, as humans require more 'juice' to jar their relatively insensitive noses. From all that I have read regarding bear spray effectiveness, I would much rather carry bear spray for protection than a firearm, hands down (and being a red blooded American, it hurts to say that!).
The spray is available in Banff, costs about $30 to $40, and needs a holster or harness to carry it, unless you have a spare pocket or bottle holder available. Bear spray shoots about 6 meters.

Link to Youtube video Tom Smith's excellent presentation about bears:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PExlT-5VU-Y

A map of grizzly bear concentration along the Tour route is located on the web at: https://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&oe=UTF8&t=h&msa=0&msid=200334849650645495946.00047e45e4239031f00c3&start=0&num=200&sll=46.7248,-112.807617&sspn=1.269004,2.221985&z=7 . Note that this map has three pages to scroll through.

Black Bears: As a general statement, black bears are less aggressive and inflict less serious injuries than Grizzly bears. Approximately 40 fatal attacks on humans in the wild have occurred in North America during the past 50 years. Many involved children, and only a few cases exist where groups were attacked.

Many of the same tips for avoiding grizzly bears apply to avoiding black bears. The main difference is that black bears can be intimidated! You can stare at a black bear to intimidate him/her, and shout to scare it away. Most surprised mother and cub black bears run off, or perhaps the mother will false charge. Actual contact is rare. Don't push your luck though! And if you want to intimidate the bear, be damn sure it is a black, and not grizzly, bear!

Moose: The danger list in the wild ranks Moose first, closely followed by Grizzly. No joke. According to Glacier National Park travel guide, "Although they appear gentle, wild moose attack hikers and tourists every year in Glacier National Park, Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Alaska and throughout Canada. The park rangers said wild moose are more dangerous than grizzly bears. A moose will attack you when they feel threatened and are trying to ensure that you are not dangerous. Since a moose weighs upwards of 1,500 pounds, ensuring you are not a threat can be the same as being hit by a car! Generally, a wild moose judges a human as threatening due to bad judgment on our part, which is why you must know the reasons why moose will attack before hiking through moose habitat.

Why Wild Moose Attack:  Moose attacks generally occur in two seasons and for two reasons:

Early Summer with Calves - Moose mommas (or cow moose) are likely to have their calves alongside them during this time of year. If you come between a cow and its calf, you are in trouble. Cows do not have antlers, by the way.

Fall and Mating - Bull moose are highly aggressive in the fall when courting cows. If you encounter a bull moose during mating season, it may perceive you as a mating threat and ward you off by attacking. Another reason a moose will attack is if the moose is provoked by man or canine. If you see a wild moose, do not provoke it with words or weapons, such as rocks or sticks. Bull moose normally have large antlers.
As with bears, the best strategy is to make a lot of noise when hiking/biking.

How to Survive a Moose Attack
Remember, a moose charges to ward off potential threats. Wild moose are aggressive, but by assuring the bull or cow that you are not a threat, you can survive an aggressive moose encounter. Signs of an aggressive moose include:

Walking in your direction
Stomping its feet
Laying  its ears back
Grunting
Throwing its head back and forth

These are all signs of an aggressive, wild moose. If you are hiking through moose habitat and encounter a moose behaving in this manner, it perceives you as a threat and you must be prepared for an attack. If you see one that isn't approaching, your best bet is to avoid it and allow it to move out of your way. However, if you notice its hairs raised, head down and ears back, that's your cue to hightail it in the opposite direction. And when a moose licks its lips, that doesn't mean it finds you attractive. That's your signal to make tracks. Should you encounter an aggressive, wild moose, here is how to prevent and survive an attack:

 From limited data, it appears that bear spray may work on moose
 Back away with your palms facing the moose
 Speak softly and reassuringly, like you would to a little child

 If the moose charges, get behind a large tree or rock in order to separate your body from the moose. Most moose charges, like grizzly bear charges, are bluffs. One website states: When you see a bull, or male moose, charging at you, there's only one thing to do -- turn and run to avoid getting trampled. Although moose can outrun humans at their top speeds, many times they won't chase you far if you run away from them.

If you don't get away fast enough, and a moose knocks you down, don't struggle. If the moose attacks you, feign death by curling up in a little ball. Protect your head and neck with your arms. If you are wearing a backpack, your pack will protect your back. Curl into the fetal position and cover your head with your arms. Trying to move will only cause the moose to continue kicking and stomping.

Moose can kick with their front hooves like a good footballer, so watch out! They typically stomp their threat. If there is heavy brush or abundant tree trunks you can play 'dodgem' with the moose, keeping a tree or four between you and said moose.

That's about it for beastly beasties, so Welcome to North America !